Listen, I get it—fall is here, and we all have to pretend like we’re enchanted by crisp leaves and sweater weather. But let me tell you, if I have to smell one more whiff of that pumpkin spice nonsense, I’m going to lose it. Everywhere you turn, there it is, lurking like an unwelcome houseguest: pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin spice candles, pumpkin spice deodorant (yes, that exists). It’s like the entire country just rolls over and decides, “Sure, I’ll pay $6 for a hot cup of sugary air with a sprinkle of nutmeg and a vague promise of autumn.”
And don’t get me started on the taste! Do people even realize that there’s no pumpkin in “pumpkin spice”? It’s all cloves, cinnamon, and whatever else they scrape out of the spice drawer to trick you into feeling “cozy.” If I wanted to taste pie, I’d just eat a pie, thank you very much—not this pumpkin-flavored industrial syrup that Starbucks is churning out faster than they can roast beans.
Then there’s the obsession—like a collective trance. Come September, folks flock to buy pumpkin spice this and that, piling their carts with enough orange-colored junk to decorate every corner of the house. Pumpkin spice laundry detergent? Pumpkin spice dog treats? Are we really at the point where even our pets are supposed to smell like pie? It’s madness, I tell you.
So, if you’re like me, a little weary of the “fall flavor takeover,” let’s make a pact. Let’s leave pumpkin spice in the spice cabinet where it belongs. This autumn, let’s enjoy the real flavors of fall: fresh apples, crisp air, and a whole lot less hype.
